My teenager is being bullied

You may think it is the younger school child who falls victim to bullying but teenagers are also bullied and not necessarily only by their peers but frequently by their teachers as well.

All young people have the right to go to school or college without experiencing the misery of others making their day what seems like a living hell. However, whereas a younger child may eventually feel they can confide in their parents, teenagers may not be able to so readily admit it and you may mistake the change in your teenagers’ personality to be related to something else altogether.

How to spot if your teenager is being bullied

·      Does he/she appear more anxious than usual?

·      Does he/she seem to be more quiet, withdrawn, moody or more bad-tempered than usual?

·      Does he/she look tired and complain of not being able to sleep well?

·      Does he/she behave more aggressively towards other family members than usual?

·      Does he/she avoid school/college, feigning illness or playing truant?

·      Has he/she come home with unexplained bruises, cuts and tears in clothes?

·      Has he/she stated on more than one occasion that they have ‘lost’ money or their mobile phone?

Put yourself in your teenagers shoes

If you suspect your teenager is being bullied, even though they are old enough to fend for themselves, your first reaction is probably to go down to the school/college and confront the teacher or tutor. STOP!! This is not necessarily going to be the best first course of action. First, you need to gain your youngster’s confidence and to reassure them that you will do everything you can to help them. The chances are your teenager  feels they are the one to blame for being bullied so you need to show them that you take the bullying seriously and try to reassure them that it is NOT their fault. They will probably also feel there is no way out and nothing any one can do or say will make the bullying stop. Reassure them that you will do everything in your power to help and ask them how they think they would like it to be dealt with.

Thank your teenager for confiding in you

It may be that you have known something was wrong for some time but no amount of coaxing would persuade your teenager to tell you what is worrying them until, one day, it slips out or you hear via someone else; a friend or a friends’ mother. Once they have revealed the problem thank them for confiding in you and tell them that you realise how horrible the situation is but it CAN  and WILL be resolved.

Share your experiences

If you were bullied as a child or teenager, or know someone close who was, explain how it was for you or that person. By sharing your experiences, your teenager will be able to appreciate that you understand.

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