Welcome to my first newsletter of 2010 which comes with heartfelt wishes to all my readers for the forthcoming year. I also hope you enjoy my bonus free download at the end of the newsletter to help kickstart your positive side and a great start for the year. As always, I look forward to any feedback and development with you.
Many of you will be contemplating the months ahead with apprehension and anticipation, wondering what the year will bring. Perhaps you are someone who likes to engineer your own successes and map out your life, only to become disappointed when things do not turn out as planned). Or maybe you are of the ‘what will be, will be’, mindset, believing that things are all mapped out and happen for a reason.
Either way, how you cope with whatever befalls you this year, will depend on your mindset and your perceptions of different situations. This month I ask the question:
Do you get in the way of your own success with self-sabotaging behaviour? (SSB)
Do any of these statements sound familiar?
- I want to lose weight but I have always failed before so I suppose I will do so again
- I hate my job but it is - all I know/ I’m too old to try something new/ I’m scared to do something else/ I’m not clever enough to re-train
- I’m unhappy in my relationship but I don’t want to be on my own
- I never seem able to say what I mean and mean what I say
I hear these and similar statements in my role as a personal development and career coach and frequently people’s worst fears become their reality. By encouraging people to view things differently and to examine self-perpetuating thoughts, beliefs and actions (which often get in the way of being able to make changes and deal with change effectively), there comes a realisation that by recognising and dealing with SSB*, different, more positive results can be achieved.
It IS possible to free ourselves from ingrained patterns of SSB but only if we recognise that we actually do it and attempt to break the pattern. Also, it takes time to change old habits and behaviours.
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Thoughts for the month:
What you are will show in what you do.
Thomas Edison
The greatest change for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it but that it is too low and we reach it.
Michelangelo
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared with what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Like to contribute ...?
I am interested in all feedback and comments to this newsletter.
I also welcome any offers of collaboration or inclusion of promotional articles.
To discuss any contribution please contact me through the channels below.
My contact details
Pavlenka Small
Small Steps to Success
Tel : 01206 299073
pav@smallsteps2success.co.uk
 Email contact form here
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Six small steps 2 .... overcoming self sabotaging behaviour
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Step One : Identify your behaviour patterns
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Keep a journal so that you begin to notice patterns in your behaviour. Ask friends (who you can trust) for feedback.
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Step Two : Be pro-active - not reactive
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Rather than spending time mulling over, worrying about and over-analysing a situation, do something positive instead.
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Step Three : Accept help
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If you wonder why you feel emotionally and physically drained all the time, next time someone offers you some help, accept it graciously. Consider that you are making that person feel like they are being of some use.
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Step Four : Get out of your comfort zone
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Challenge your SSB by doing something you would not normally do. So go to that party on your own, stand up to that argumentative person at work and say ‘no’ to the extra work that you frequently, but begrudgingly, agree to do.
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Step 5 : Commit to a different course of action for three weeks
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It is said that for anything to become a new ‘habit—giving up tea or coffee or sticking to a new, tighter financial budget—it takes a minimum of 3 weeks. Not long, compared to a lifetime!
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Step 6 - Name your emotions
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Practise identifying the underlying emotions (fear, jealously, lack of confidence etc) in order to pinpoint self-limiting beliefs. Admit you are afraid of change, success or commitment and do it anyway
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If you can identify with any of the above ...
Why not contact me to arrange a complimentary coaching session
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Competition Winner
Congratulations to Michelle Thake of Travel Counsellors.
Michelle was the first person to correctly indentify
the missing word as HABIT in the poem.
Michelle receives a Marks & Spencer Voucher to the value of £20
Look out for more smallsteps2success competitions in future months!
Lastly, but by no means least, I am excited to announce to readers of my newsletter, a new reference sheet that I will be making available for free download via my website.
smallsteps2 ..achieving more.
If this is something you find useful or you are interested in other guides, please let me know
Until next month,
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Small Steps to Success January 2010 Newsletter.
Pavlenka Small. Small Steps 2 Success. 2 Elm Cottages. Mission Lane. East Bergholt. Colchester. Essex. CO7 6XH.
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