Have you ever considered why some of the people you count amongst your best friends often have completely different tastes, hobbies, likes and dislikes than yourself and yet the bond of friendship remains firm through thick and thin?

It is said that opposites attract, (and I’m sure we can all think of a couple we know, or friends, that substantiate this claim), so what is it that holds the key as to who we choose as our friends and partners for lasting relationships?

One of the areas I explore with clients during the coaching process is to explore what their key values are and identifying which are the most important values to that person when it comes to their personal and working lives.

Values are not to be confused with beliefs; beliefs are what we consider to be true, whether or not, in reality they are. What we believe is important in every aspect of life; our lives and the lives of others.

Values, on the other hand, can be viewed as our personal ‘code of ethics’, our ‘raison d’etre’. Values provide us with motivation and direction to complete tasks or contest situations.

A coaching technique I use with all clients identifies what their key value(s) are and to identify if they are living their life according to these values. Nigel’s case study shows that by identifying he was not able to fulfil his two key values in the workplace, he was unhappy with his work and he was able to follow a different career path, more in line with his most significant values.

Going back to my initial question as to why we choose to be friendly with people we count as our best friends/partners, it is most likely that your key values will be very similar to those of your friends and partner.

So do you now what your key values are? This month I have included an adaptation of the values exercise I use in coaching sessions, so why not have a go and ask your friends/partner to do the same. Perhaps it might throw up some surprise....
  

Thoughts for the month: Values provide the perspective in the best times and the worst. Charles Garfield. Look inside yourself and you will find a world of things (a world of your own experience) worth writing about. Bette Greene. Don’t let yoru special character and values - the secret that you know no one else does, the truth - don’t let that get swallowed up by the great chewing complacency Aesop. Like to contribute ...? I am interested in all feedback and comments to this newsletter. I also welcome any offers of   collaboration or inclusion  of promotional articles. To discuss any contribution   please contact me through  the channels below. My contact details Pavlenka Small Small Steps to Success Tel : 01206 299073 pav@smallsteps2success.co.uk     Email contact form here

Values Excercise Step One Make a list of between 6-8 values that are important to you. (These are intangible things so if, for example, you say you value your family, ask yourself what it is that your family gives you; eg love, security or happiness,  and choose the most significant value from these examples) *I have included some examples of values at the end to prompt you but the list is by no means complete. Step Two Now put your list of values in order of priority, number 1 being the most important , number 8 the least. Step Three Now decide which of all these values is THE most important one. (You can choose a maximum of 2!) Step Four Finally, and this is the important bit, ask yourself whether your key value(s) feature in your daily life; at home and at work. If you are adopting values which go against your own personal code of ethics, you will most likely experience feelings of dissatisfaction and not being true to yourself. Example Values Adventure Ambition   Challenge   Creativity   Freedom     Friendship   Health   Honesty   Personal development Humour   Independence  Integrity   Learning   Love      Passion   Companionship  Wealth Purpose Power Recognition Spirituality Respect  Security Success Trust Curious to find out more? Why not sign up for a complimentary coaching session to find out how you can achieve YOUR own personal success. Calling All Readers! Many of you who have been receiving my newsletter for the past few months have commented on how much you enjoy reading my tips. Please DO contact me if there are any topics you would like me to cover. For example* perhaps you would benefit from a notice-board where information seeking and giving could be a feature? Maybe you would like suggested reading materials on specific topics? Also are there any features on my websote you’ld like to see ? Over to you!! If I use any of your newsletter suggestions ...  you will receive a coaching voucher as a big thank you. African Project Update Lynne has been quite poorly lately and what with the summer holidays and a busy month of work, I will report back later in the year when we have a development to relate. I have taken up walking and awimming on a regular basis to help with the weight loss. I’m still losing about 4 pounds a month - so watch this space! Stop Press ....... NEW Mentoring Packages ! Lastly, but by no means least I am pleased to announce to all my readers, my new mentoring packages : - Mentoring for newly self-employed business men and women - Mentoring for newly qualified coaches In both instances you will learn what is needed to take your business to the next level My rates are : £50 for one 45 minute phone call per month, including all appropriate research , guidance and support.   I have still yet to promote this via my website and the web  - so you are all the first to know !! --------------------------- Until next month,

Small Steps to Success September 2009 Newsletter. Pavlenka Small. Steps to Success. 2 Elm Cottages. Mission Lane. East Bergholt. Colchester. Essex. CO7 6XH.