How to find some ‘me’ time; the lament of a busy working mum

An abridged version of this article appeared in The Wire networking magazine Autumn 2009.
The persons name* has been changed.

When Caroline contacted The WIRE Coaching Column, she described her key issues as being twofold:-she was finding it difficult to keep her mind focused when at work, with her children or working on her business, and she was also finding it hard to keep on top of household chores, as there just didn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done.

Many busy working mums experience a feeling of sinking rather than swimming and also find it impossible to have any time to themselves, due to their busy lifestyle. However, by making small changes and concentrating on patterns of behaviour and beliefs rather than situations, it IS possible to make a difference to ones routine.

When asked what, in an ideal world, would be the answer to  improve her current situation, Caroline replied that if she could give up her part-time job as an HE executive, it would allow her to spend more quality time with her two young children and husband and be able to concentrate on building up her new, online business. However, as this was clearly not financially viable, we examined how the current situation could be improved.

I asked Caroline if she saw herself as a perfectionist and whether she found it hard to ask for or accept offers of help. It occurred to me that she was doing too much and she had said she didn’t know how to keep on top of everything she must do. I challenged her as to who was telling her she ‘must’ do things, (usually unaided), and after a thought provoking conversation, she concluded that this was her perceived reality of the situation.

Caroline was encouraged to take a step back from her current situation, evaluate what she would like more of, (and less of), in her life and we then set small, manageable steps in order to change the status quo.

As a starting point, she would devise a weekly timetable of her work, family and household activities, in order to examine what could be altered, replaced or eliminated, thus giving her the opportunity to have more ‘me time’.

Caroline also decided she would accept the next offer of help from her family. Previously when asked if she would like any help with setting up her business, she had always said she was fine and yet she could think of a whole list of things that would alleviate some of the pressure she felt.

We developed the realisation that if she would be willing to act and think in a different way, it might release some time in her busy schedule to prevent her from the total burn-out she feared might eventually happen.

Caroline’s ultimate wish for her business is to leave her paid employment in a years’ time and we examined what this would give her and her family, in order for the current dream to become a viable reality.

Caroline also mentioned she never had time to read a magazine or watch TV, but by the end of our coaching session she felt this would be something she now deserved and would make time to do.

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